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[26 Mar 2005|11:16pm] |
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I got a new LJ. This one was just getting old.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) espionagex
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[16 Mar 2005|09:54am] |
lmfao.
[max]: just talk to the woman before i break out the caffeine
[max]: ive been saving money for the webcam but ill spend it to drug you if i have to
aw max thanks, I love you.
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| *gasp* a real update! and a LONG one! |
[15 Mar 2005|10:51pm] |
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Wow! So, lots of good stuff! I'm going to update you on everything I can remember since... saturday. Batallion Ball!
I woke up, got dressed, left for Salinas to find a dress. Got a kickass hot dress. Came home, went to Stories of Service, no one was there so it was kind of lame though I was kind of happy that we didn't have to do much. Got home, go ready for batallion ball. Remy ended up taking me because my mom didn't know where it was. I had a great time. People got WAY bent out of shape about the stupid group picture. I think its going to be great. Whatever about that though lol. Dancing was fun, I met some cool people and "re-met" some cool people. Got home a little after midnight and passed out lol, I was so tired.
Sunday, I got up, went to church, brought max home with me (but mom, he followed me home! can I keep him...? No? Phew thank God. Lmfao I'm just kidding Max I LOVE YOU! sometimes) And we took the bus (YES I TOOK THE BUS) from edgewater, to the monterey transit center, to the mall to play dress-up. Well not me, only Max. Because Max needs style. We saw one of my friends there, Jondy, who is gay and is the coolest guy I've ever met. He went shopping with us and dressed Max up. I'm next. O.o. I'm the new Barbie, apparently. Thats what he said. I have the tits, ass, and hips for it. Hmm. I'm almost kind of scared. Well, after that Max and I went and saw The Jacket. It was a good movie. The ending was kind of confusing but altogether it was a good plot and all that. Keira Knightley is so fuckin hot. LoL.
Monday, I.. updated a little bit about. Went to Borders, worked on my outlines and Ash came later. We hung out and had a lot of fun. Talked to the borders girl (whose name I know now, which I'll reveal later). We have the most random and weird conversations, and I've said this a million times but we really fuckin do. "DAMNIT HERALD!; DAMNIT GUS!" and all the pick up lines. OMG haha. oh oh oh and the gay quote. I got them all now, so here they are.
--> Gay is like Mastercard, its everywhere you want to be. You have that power. So go forth and make the world gay! Walk into K-Mart and spread your fairy dust. God knows they need it. And please start with the Jaquelyn Smith collection.
pick up lines;
--> If you were a laser, you'd be set on stunning.
--> If I follow you home, will you keep me?
--> Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to... where you're going?
--> I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.
--> Don't stand in the frozen food section. You're so hot you'll melt everything.
--> Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake?
Haha. Those were greatness. I was there with her for a LONG time. Then, I went to the gay meeting. We watched Margaret C.H.O. Thats some hilarious shit. I had an anxiety attack or something, though, and I had to leave the room for a minute, which ended up being longer than I thought and my mom called and was like "I'm here come out." I was like, well, damn. But mom got to meet some of the people which was cool.
Today, I did the same thing as yesterday lol. I went to borders and hung out there for a while myself, then Ashley came. I got two books; "Girl Walking Backwards" and "Prozac Nation." I decided to read the first book, first, and I put back Prozac Nation. On the way there, I passed her by. And I looked at her nametag (shoulda thought of that one before lol). Her name is Charlotte. I like her name.
Tomorrow, I'm going to go to practice for Drama, then ash and I are walking down to borders again and we are going to hand out candy to all the workers. Including Charlotte. ^^ And I plan to get the new Tegan and Sara cd. I like their music. ^^ Yay.
OH And also, this girl from Aptos, is going to come down in two weeks. We're going to hang out, she's really cool. Its awesome, she knows who Charlotte is lol. I mean like she saw her at borders before the last time she went there (which was like, november but still). Yeah its all good stuff.
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[14 Mar 2005|09:45pm] |
Well! I had a very interesting day today!
Woke up, got pretty, and went to borders. Started working on my outline, talked to the infamous borders girl. (well sort of talked. Don't ask, its a long story). Met up with Ash. Roamed around the store, ended up not even reading the books we wanted to, and just walking around. Landed in the section with alot of gay/lesbian/feminism books, and sat there and read.
Ash and I have the most interesting conversations.
Pathetic Lame, right ash?
We had the "Lame Sessions" which were particularly interesting. Picture drawing is FUN! I read a whole bunch of pick-up lines, wtf. Weirdness. I'll update that plus the nifty gay quote later.
But yeah. Thats.. about.. it.
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[09 Mar 2005|06:11pm] |
New poem. Wrote it for english but I kinda liked it. So, le-post. ^^
empty inside
like ice, like cold
I can't feel anymore
cut to the heart
bleeding, bleeding
blind inside
clear the mind
an endless struggle
hidden behind clear eyes
clear lies
falling behind
jagged red lines
a fire inside
a desire to feel real
when inside
its only dead
and in your head
there's only screaming
louder, louder
to shut out your own pain
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[05 Mar 2005|11:43am] |
well! long time no update! lets see....
my hair is gone. = O! I chopped alot of it off, like, almost all of it. I mean not bald all of it, but its really damn short. I'll post a picture eventually. When my camera is fixed (the battery is just dead, I need to find the charger). I am going to batallion ball. thats fun. ^^ I think I'm getting a new dress for it today. Fun stuff.
Ummm... I'm in two plays! Dunno if thats a good or bad thing yet. I'm Felicity in The Real Inspector Hound and Artemis in Eleemosynary. Both good plays, both good parts. I'm happy. ^^ Ashley is in both too, she's Ms Drudge in TRIH, and Dorothea in Elee. Dorothea is an eccentric, gotta love her. Ms. Drudge is just plain scary. But Mrs Jacobs is getting on my freakin nerves. Like, seriously. I want to smack her sometimes. Yesterday she got me so upset that I cried for like, an hour and a half. Her and her damn lectures just need to stop.
Anyway. Tonight we are having some hungarian food. I'm excited. ^^ I like hungarian food.
Other than that, not much else to say. OH OH YES THERE IS.
Safe Place; Meetings for Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Bicurious teenagers 14-17. BEST THING EVER. I mean, the last time I went there were only gay boys and I was kind of sad. Except for the one girl who told me about the place. But Its every monday, and I'm uberexcited to go again. Its so.. nice. And gay boys give the best hugs. ^^ I just want to be all of their friend, lol.
now, thats it. ^^ bye!
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[01 Mar 2005|05:56pm] |
boy shorts. how entirely appropriate, lol. I'm the man.
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[20 Feb 2005|08:48pm] |
someday I'm going to live in a place where there is a huge amount of gay people so I can be happy.
Why? Because there's no one here to love me back. No girls. And any guy that could even possibly begin to make me think straight, is taken.
Its just not worth the heartbreak anymore. I want to move now, but since I can't I'm just going to shut myself off emotionally so I can't get hurt anymore.
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[19 Feb 2005|12:02pm] |
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gotta love the polka dots.
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[15 Feb 2005|05:56pm] |
I hate my family. More times than not. They argue all the time and they worry about me way too much. I'm seventeen fucking years old. SEVENTEEN. In a little over a year, my ass is going off to college far the fuck away from them. Whats going to happen when I'm gone? My mom's going to have like, ten heart attacks. My phone bill is going to be crazy because they are going to call me ever two fucking minutes, making sure "did you look both ways before you crossed the street?"
I may still look like a child because I'm short. But I'm seventeen fucking years old. I'm going to be eighteen next year, LEGAL. That may not be much because its only a technicality that I'm legal, but I'm more mature than they give me credit for.
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[12 Feb 2005|06:12pm] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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well.. I decided "hot damn! its been a long time since I updated" so, here I am.
Things have been relatively good. Well, I mean, health wise. I stopped cutting. Two months, one week, five days. Proud? You should be.
Between Le Tigre and the Vagina Monologues, I'm very very pro-woman. I love my vagina. Feminist in training? You betcha.
Umm.. Schools okay. Ironically the only thing I'm passing right now, is, uh, geometry. Hm. Interesting. I was going to try out for Grease, but decided against it. If I end up getting in The Real Inspector Hound, and being a chorus member in Grease... that would be way too much to handle. I don't want to put myself through too much. I need homework time, and I would probably end up mixing the two parts up lol. Starting singing Grease songs while I'm performing TRIH. Or visa versa. It would be BAAAAD. So yeah. I didn't.
....then again, I could NOT be in TRIH. Then I would be in nothing. Oh well. Atleast thats extra homework time? *dies*
the end? yeah. about that time.
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[01 Feb 2005|04:26pm] |
GUESS WHO JUST GOT HER PERMIT!
oh yeah baby.
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[30 Jan 2005|10:23pm] |
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Tomorrow is my birthday. ^^
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[19 Jan 2005|05:05pm] |
...
Five minutes ago I was sad.
Three minutes ago I was hurt.
One minute ago I was angry.
Now I feel nothing at all.
Thank you, life.
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[11 Jan 2005|08:53pm] |
have you ever just sat, and realized you're not anyone you want to be. You're not the person who you thought you were... Maybe not personality wise, but you thought you had great friends and realized, for the most part, except for a few, you really didnt't...
And you just go.. "what the fuck happened to me?"
I miss the people I used to call my friends. I wonder what happened to them.
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| today! |
[11 Jan 2005|05:38pm] |
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mood |
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Well, I should update. I never do.
Nothing is going on. Seriously. I'm like, bored out of my mind. School is the same everyday. The only exciting thing is that I have someone new to talk to. This kid, named Robert. He's pretty cool. He firts with me, which is nice. Its nice to have someone show interest in you. Simeon, Max, and friends are all ubercool. I took ubercool pictures of them today. LoL. They are good guys, I wish I still hung out with them. But, I also like to hang out with my other friends. I guess I feel divided all the time between them because I <3 them all.
In other news, my hand is all freakin out. It hurts all the time especially when I overwork it. Blah.
I switched into sixth period drama. Thats kinda cool. Ashley switched in too, so I'm happy about that! I think I'm going on a feild trip like, next week or this week. Which is also cool. Considering, its to the aquarium. I love the aquarium. Its for art, we're going to draw things.... at the aquarium. I get to see the shark!
Max and I are going to see White Noise this weekend, I think. I hope! That movie should be pretty cool though some people think it sucked. I think Simeon and others might come. As long as I'm all allowed to be scared. LoL. Being scared is fun sometimes.
well thats about it. School is school.
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| chapter 1: mondays are red |
[10 Jan 2005|07:50pm] |
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I've written about this book before. Mondays are Red is the best book ever and I'm putting the first chapter in here, so you can see the kind of language this woman uses. Its just.. awesome.
A Kaleidoscope in My Head
Mondays are red. Sadness has an empty blue smell. And music can taste of anything from banana puree to bat's pee. That's what I need to explain, starting with the day it all began, the day I woke up in a hospital bed with a kaleidascope in my head. I disocvered later that I had almost died from meningitis but I remember nothing about that bit. My first memory is the dizzy waking up part and my soggy muddled head. My second memory is how, bit by bit, I began to realize how much my world had changed.
( a volcano... )
read.
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